Is there such a thing as a toxic relationship? Probably more than ever, is it because of social networks, or because of the lack of emotional or sexual education in schools? Today we are going to explain what is a toxic relationship!

What is a toxic relationship?

The terms toxic person and toxic partner were coined by Liliam Glass in a book published in 1995. It referred to couples in which there is a lack of support and respect, and in which in conflicts one party seeks to be above the other.

So, a possible definition of a toxic relationship would be any relationship between people who don’t support each other, where there is conflict and one tries to undermine the other, where there is competition, and where there is a lack of respect and cohesion.

These are dysfunctional relationships in which dynamics are created that are mentally and emotionally damaging to one or both partners. They become exhausting, to the point where the negative moments outweigh the positive ones.

Although the most popular setting for this type of relationship is in couples, it’s important to know that toxic relationships can occur in any field: work, friendship, and even family!

What toxic people are like in relationships

Toxic people are egocentric, and self-centered, need to be the center of attention, believe that their opinion is the most important, and need constant validation. They also have a victimizing spirit, so they blame others for the bad things that happen to them, and sometimes there is a narcissistic wound in them. They belittle or give little importance, to those they do not consider to be their equals and minimize the successes of others.

But beware! They can also be charismatic and charming towards those they feel they can be of use to, either because of their knowledge or status.

If you are in a relationship, would you consider sexting cheating? Let’s find out!

Toxic partnerships: when love hurts

Is love enough to have a harmonious and healthy relationship? No, love isn’t enough. How many people are unhappy because they have someone next to them who claims to love them but only offers suspicions, jealousy, and fears…? Below, we talk about toxic relationships.

There are many reasons why people fall into toxic relationships. Sometimes, out of fear of loneliness, people are in an unhealthy relationship, and because of this same fear, limits aren’t set from the beginning of the relationship to those behaviors that are tolerable and those that aren’t… And then it’s too late. Others, out of insecurity, create emotional dependencies and put their own happiness in the hands of others.

How do you know if a relationship is toxic?

Among the toxic attitudes and dynamics that occur in toxic couples are control and lack of respect, which can go in both directions, or there is a party that exerts control and another that suffers dependence.

Some characteristics of toxic relationships:

• One or both people, in an “act of love”, put aside their social life, interests, and hobbies to focus purely and exclusively on the relationship. In the event that only one of the partners loses the autonomy to focus on the other partner, this can lead to the other person becoming overwhelmed and less attractive and interesting in his or her eyes.
• Toxic love is possessive. That is why when it’s present in a couple there is jealousy, lack of freedom, and excessive control. One or both partners need to be in control of the other at all times and know what they are doing, where they are going, and with whom.
• In a toxic bond, one partner may try to change the other. For example physically (the way they dress, the use of make-up…), although it may be other aspects, and instead of accepting them, they demand that the other changes them.
• There is no good communication, you feel that you cannot talk to the other person.

How do I know if I am a toxic person for my partner?

It isn’t always the others who are the problem. Sometimes, we are the toxic people in the couple. Do you recognize any of the dynamics of the previous point as yours?

If you look back and your love CV is a relationship of toxic links, one of two things can happen: either you don’t know how to detect a toxic partner, and you always fall into the same trap, or the toxic part of the relationship is you.

In either case, you should consider going to a therapist to see what is going on and how to solve it!

Signs that you are the toxic part of your relationship:

⦁ You are always right and want to be on top in any discussion.

⦁ You don’t give the other person space or freedom.

⦁ In reality, you know the relationship is not working, but you don’t break it off.

⦁ You and your needs are the most important thing.

⦁ Either you do things your way or your pout.

⦁ When there’s a problem, you turn the tables on the other party to blame.

7 Signs you are in a toxic relationship 🚩

What does a toxic relationship look like? Watch out for red flags!

When the sea is rough or the water isn’t in good condition, how do you signal it? With a red flag. In a relationship you also have to pay attention to these signals, let’s look at some characteristics of a toxic partner!

Lack of support

Healthy relationships are based on a mutual desire for each other to succeed in all areas of life. However, when a relationship is toxic, every outcome becomes competition.

Control, mistrust, and jealousy

Sometimes, an insecure person seems to be very attentive at the beginning of the relationship with the other person and spends a lot of time with them, but behind all that attention there may be an issue of mistrust and control.

Always asking where the other person is, getting angry if they don’t respond immediately to messages or if they want to spend time with other people, are attitudes that contribute to partner toxicity.

Control can also be expressed through emotional manipulation, when one partner controls (more or less consciously) the other to achieve their own ends: “If you loved me, you would” is one of the phrases used by toxic partners.

Toxic communication

Instead of kindness, sarcasm, criticism, or hostility are common in communication. In these cases, one partner may hide their problems or avoid raising issues in order not to cause tension.

In other cases, communication becomes ambiguous or gaslighting (a psychological manipulation in which one party tries to modify the other person’s perception of reality) occurs.

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Constant stress

All relationships go through moments of stress, but being on the edge is usually an indicator that something is wrong.

Ignoring needs

It is one thing for two people to be in tune with each other, but it’s another to go along with what a partner wants to do, even when it goes against one’s own wishes. This is another symptom of partner toxicity.

Missing out on other relationships

You stop spending time with friends and family, either to avoid conflict with your partner or to avoid having to explain what is going on in your relationship. If you find that your free time is focused exclusively on your partner… Be aware!

Constantly justifying your partner’s actions

Another sign of a toxic relationship is justifying everything your partner says or does, even if deep down you don’t agree with it.

Think that in a toxic relationship there are key symptoms: if instead of bringing joy what you feel, on a regular basis, is sadness, anxiety, exhaustion… You are probably in a toxic relationship.

Toxic phrases in a relationship

When we communicate we can utter toxic phrases, whether we mean to or not, but they hurt the other party, so in order to maintain a healthy relationship we should avoid them:

⦁ Comparisons: “You could look a bit more like…”, “I wish you were like…”

⦁ Absolutism: “You never listen to me”, “You always make me look bad”.

⦁ Recriminations: “Well, you once did the same thing” and bringing up topics that have little to do with the discussion of the moment.

⦁ Emotional blackmail: “If you loved me, you would”.

⦁ Threats: “You carry on like this and one of these days I’ll leave…”.

⦁ Control: “Why don’t you put a picture of the two of you on your profile?”, “Why are you so dressed up?”, “I don’t understand why you have to meet your family/friends so much“.

If you realize that you’re in a toxic relationship, tell your friends and family!